Taking The Odds


November 17, 2015
By:  The Mogambo Guru


On a heretofore misplaced piece of paper that was quickly forgotten until a “Hmmm! Look what I found!” moment, some recent noteworthy news is that the federal government took in $3.2 trillion in taxes on 2015, but spent $3.6 trillion, for a paper deficit-spending balance of $400 billion.

Wiping away the coffee stains and (sniff, sniff) what seems to be faint remnants of a chili dog, it appears, as calculated by someone who is more deft with a calculator than I, that this tax haul is more than $21,000 for every one of the country’s 148 million workers who either works full time or part time, which I think is a VERY generous estimate of how many workers there are. 

148 million workers? Almost half the population is employed? Surely you jest, sir!

As Leslie Neilson would have replied, ala the movie Airplane!, “No, I am not jesting, and stop calling me Shirley!”

Of course, being a cynical and paranoid old man who is sure everyone is lying to him, out to get him and steal his money, and who is also willing to stoop to stealing the classic comedy of Leslie Neilson, I don’t count as “employed” anybody that does not have an employer who pays taxes on profits derived from their labor.  It’s that simple.

This includes, obviously, the millions and millions of local, state or federal government workers, employees of the public school systems, employees of government-outsourced businesses, employees of government-sponsored non-profit organizations, or any of the millions of other people whose income depends on governments providing (gratuitously waxing vaguely Shakespearean) the fat teat at which they so greedily suckle.

If you will please stop thinking about suckling teats long enough to subtract these not-profitable workers from the labor pool, then the number of “employed” people drops bigtime. As proof, I present disturbing facts and figures about the spending side of the federal ledger, which I have freshly pulled out of the air when vague memory fails, but cleverly presented in authentic government format, which is to use dazzling three-decimal precision.

Thus, you can believe me and scoff at rude naysayers when I tell you that the cost of $3.687 trillion of federal spending divided by precisely 90,582,992.882 workers is exactly $40,703.004 of government spending per real, profit-making worker in America today!

The federal government spends as much, per profitable worker, as each worker makes.

I deliberately left off the exclamation points after that last sensational, stupefying sentence as an example of my hitherto unheralded Cool Mogambo Demeanor (CMD), designed to let future historians know that there are more sides to The Essential Mogambo (TEM) than are taught in their schools.

As an aside, I agree with educators everywhere that all the distracting pornography, senseless gluttony and vague death threats comprising the bulk of the corpus of The Essential Mogambo (TEM) is stealing the educational limelight from pure cosmic truth, which is that the Austrian school of economics is the only true theory of economics, and that anybody who disagrees is a big, fat idiot.

And, lest I waste an opportunity to heap cruel scorn upon Keynesian economists, let me hasten to say that this particularly includes the laughable Keynesians, busily diddling with their precious little computer models to justify the mind-blowing insanity of replacing lagging consumer spending (thanks to all income being consumed in servicing bankrupting debt) with increased government spending of an increase in the fiat-money supply, and devising new “hedonic adjustments” to disguise the resultant inflation in prices (“You paid twice as much for the car as last year, but with snazzy hubcaps included at no extra charge, there is no inflation in the price of cars!”) 

The fact is, there should be at least – AT LEAST!!! Like that!!! – three exclamation points to provide the necessary head-exploding, screaming, hysterical outrage emphasis that this kind of monstrously insane fiscal stimulus, using money-out-of-thin-air created by the evil Federal Reserve, so richly, richly deserves.

Again, please note my calm demeanor, as evidenced by my repeated complete lack of extraordinary punctuation to denote “We’re Freaking Doomed (WFD)” emphasis, as would be expected because the situation is so disastrous that I’m actually gagging up blood here! Blood! Well, maybe not blood per se. Could be pizza. But something!

Anyway, add in another $2 trillion or so in state and local taxation/spending per year, and pretty soon you’ve got an economic system that reflects the disastrous results of the horrid, treacherous Supreme Court infamously ruling, over and over again, that money did not have to be gold and silver (which would keep the money supply stable, and thus keep prices from rising and keep government from supporting, at this point, half the population), as so clearly and expressly stipulated in the Constitution of the United States! Exclamation point and all!

But make no mistake: From here on out, the Federal Reserve and the federal government are going to commit every economic sin imaginable in a suicidal frenzy to make sure that this whole ugly, bloated, malignant economic system of an expanding money supply and accompanying debt, an expanding size and reach of government, and an expanding population of people suckling at the aforementioned fat teat of government continues as long as possible.

Now look what you’ve done!  I can’t stop thinking about fat teats, either!

And such a distraction is such a shame, since my next topic was about the importance of owing precious metals, yet cautiously weighed against the ability of a desperate government to spend borrowed money, and willing banking co-conspirators to keep creating money, to keep the bond, equity and housing markets afloat and, hopefully, rising, for a long, long time.

So, one certainly needs one’s wits about oneself to play such a game of brinkmanship!

Alas, being a particularly gutless guy who knows with absolute certainty that this idiotic Keynesian economic experiment will end in complete disaster, and one who sees a Gigantic Screaming Bargain (GSB) in the market prices of gold and silver thanks to the despicable market manipulations, I’m reminded of the old adage “The race is not always won by the swiftest, nor the battle always won by the strongest, but that’s the way to bet.”

And, since the odds are in your favor, in a long series of bets, you will win! You will always win over the long run! Just like the “house” in Las Vegas!

Put it all together, and “Whee! This investing stuff is easy!”